Manansh Shukla

First, find where time lives around you. Your past might feel behind you, or to one side. Your future might stretch ahead, or somewhere else. This creates your personal timeline.

When pain feels stuck inside you, when your life's story feels heavy or too much to carry, pause. Close your eyes and ask your unconscious mind: "Is it alright to let this go?" 

Wait for the answer. You might feel it in your body, see a picture in your mind, or just know. If you sense a no, that's okay - ask yourself what needs attention first.

If you feel a yes, imagine floating up above your timeline like a bird. Keep a golden rope tied to the present moment - your present self, the sustainer of your story - so you can find your way back.

Float backwards through time, to the very beginning of everything, to that first moment of creation. From this high place at the dawn of existence, look forward and check - does that old feeling still exist right now?

When you notice the feeling has gone, follow your golden rope home to your present self. Move at the speed that feels right to you.

If the weight of your current life story still feels heavy, if you need a new perspective, float forward to the end of time, to the point of dissolution where all returns to silence. Look back at now. Everything looks different from here.

When you return to your present moment, you might notice just a faint echo where the old feeling used to live. Your mind has found a new way to hold this memory, and perhaps a new way to see your story.

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*This practice mirrors the cosmic cycle: from creation (Brahma), through sustaining presence (Vishnu), to dissolution (Shiva) - the eternal sound of existence itself (OM).*

When you start out in a field, you might start with basic questions.

• What is this thing?
• How does it work?
• Why is it important?
• How does it relate to other things?

As you continue, your questions will evolve. You accumulate more information that allows you to ask different questions. The type of questions where someone might think you're an expert.

But...

I don't think experts know everything. They just ask the highest quality questions at any given time. Starting with basic questions and gradually making their way to more advanced questions over time.

That pursuit might seem paradoxical. Aren't you supposed to have answers? Aren't experts supposed to know everything?

No!

I believe "experts" pose questions that gets them information that will form a newer, higher quality question. 

Questions that move their field forward. They pose questions that no one else knows how to ask. 

That is why they are experts. They live at the edge.

I believe a lot of experts do this (consciously or not). But we can replicate this for ourselves by:

Writing important questions down. 

Your mind will forget your questions. Write them out. And update them often. Stay with a question structure and see how far it can take you. 

Run experiments. Reflect. Write out new questions, better questions.

It'll take you to the edge of knowledge every time. 

Any question refined long enough will take you to the edge of knowledge. 

So what question will you follow?

Gratitude can save your life. 

It can solve problems. It can bring new opportunities. It can heal past hurts. It can help you make decisions. It can help you with conflicts. 

I know it can feel confusing. People have a lot to say about Gratitude. I do too.

But maybe I can offer you a bit more clarity.

To get started with gratitude you need:

1. To become familiar with how it feels

2. To process any resistance you have towards it

3. To create a practice

1) How does Gratitude feel?

The word "Gratitude" will evoke a very specific sensation within your body. It will be unique to you.

You can learn it by closing your eyes and imagining a memory where you felt "Gratitude" in the past. 

• Who was there? 

• What happened? 

• How did it all make you feel?

I want you to give the memory a lot of detail. And then notice what feeling comes up as a result.

It might be a warmth in your chest or throat. It could be a glowing feeling along your stomach. 

Whatever it might feel like. That is your Gratitude. 

I want you to explore gratitude in this way because it will feel easy. All you do is re-create the right context within your mind (through a memory) and it will flow from there.

2) Process any resistance to Gratitude

You might feel unfinished emotions mixed in with the things you feel grateful for.

For example, you're grateful for the relationship you have with your parents. But you still have some level of resentment or pain stored from your childhood.

Those feelings will make it difficult to work with gratitude. Why?

Because each time you bring up the feeling of gratitude, you will also bring up those other feelings.

But this is good news! Now you get the chance to process those feelings.

You can process them by experiencing the sensation and then expressing how it feels. 

For example, you feel a tightness in your gut during gratitude practice. You then say aloud what state what the sensation feels like. Paying attention to any images and mental thoughts that arise with the sensation.

It might feel intense. If it feels too intense, please be gentle with yourself and stop.

Stay with that emotion for at least 90 seconds. Experience it as honestly as you can for at least 90 seconds. 

Afterwards, go back to your gratitude practice.

3) Create a practice

I have mentioned "practice" a few times. You will find it very simple.

Let me share my practice with you:

1. Open my notebook every morning

2. Write "Gratitude" at the top of a new page

3. Look around my immediate space to see what inspires gratitude

4. Write down anything that inspires gratitude

5. Repeat steps 3/4 until my list feels long and healthy

The point of a practice is to do it often. You get outsized benefits by doing a little bit each day.

And of course, this is something to play around with. Make it your own. After all, it is your gratitude.

Gratitude can save your life.

It saved mine.

Repeat the statement “I forgive myself for not understanding” in your heart.

Repeat it over and over.

After some time, you will notice memories come up. Painful ones. Once they come up, you need to address them.

Let’s say you remember a time when you made a mistake. Mentally repeat: “I forgive myself for making that mistake.”

You may notice your mind complain at first. Mentally repeat: “I forgive my mind for not wanting to forgive.”

Then, go back and repeat the statement: “I forgive myself for making that mistake”.

Make sure to relax as it happens. Relax your head. Relax your face and jaw. Relax anything that is tensing because of the memory.

Experiment with it. Find words that work for you. Words that evoke a warm heart. Relax in a way that works for you. Play with it.

Now, let’s say that a new memory comes up after you’ve resolved the first that reminds you of someone who did something to you.

You repeat: “I forgive you for not understanding.” or “I forgive you for not understanding how you caused me pain.”

Genuinely. Sincerely. Wholeheartedly (to the extent you can) forgive.

You can do this anywhere. Anytime. And every time you do it, those memories will plague you less and less. Leaving you a pure and clean mind.

After doing this for a while, transition into mentally asking for forgiveness for others you've hurt. (Please forgive me for not understanding.)

I image myself going down the stairs, into the subconscious. 10 steps in all.

I open the door at the bottom. The first door in the hallway, on the left contains the inner child. I walk in. 

The “greeter” appears. He sits on a bed, wearing a yellow sweater with Goofy on it, rocking a bowl haircut. I connect with him and he tells me how happy he feels that I have worked with so many parts within myself. He shows me, in the next few rooms, all my parts. 

I leave this room. I go to the next room. The expanse. 

This room, when you walk in, sucks you into expansion. I feel my access to the ventral vagal nervous system. When I join with it, the greenness of it makes me feel safe.

I remember what Deb Dana shares about Ventral Vagal landscapes. Each landscape appears uniquely to the individual and comes with a sliding scale of depth. For me, just entering into Ventral Vagal brings gentleness and tingles. While going all the way into Ventral weighs like thousands of pounds of wet, nutrient-dense soil, feeding your soul.

I leave this room.

The next room. The Wizard.

I peer through — looking around his laboratory — I notice him hunched over a chemistry setup and tinkering with different vials. I ask: “Get me up to speed?”. He looks up and gives me a smirk. With a vial in one hand, he trots over: “I shall heal that nasty viral thing in us. (I have Covid atm) You see this green thing? Medicine. To take it, imagine feeling into unwell parts. Imagine a green awareness flowing through.”

I take the medicine. Following his instructions. I noticeably feel a bit better.

I go to the next room. The spirit animal. 

I see a dark, desolate forest. I look up and see a huge Owl. His eyes sparkle, made up of glimmers of gold and silver. I feel his calm. I feel a knowing emanating from him. He knows. He knows me. He sees me. I sit next to him. We both stare out into the forest. I feel that he wants to share something with me. A message. In a deep voice, I hear him in my mind as he grumbles “Open your eyes and see clearly. You miss the big picture.”

I leave this room.

I head back into the hallway. 

The next room contains Gifts from the Higher Self.

I walk in. Immediately I smell a calming, soothing aroma. I walk through an ancient Egyptian palace. I see silk robes flowing down from the massive pillars. I look ahead and see an alter. Next to the alter, a curved sword and a bowl. I know it wants an offering. I slit my hand and let blood flow into the bowl. The bowl glows and disappears. On the mantel, I see a small, brown notebook. Inside the book I read about all the adventures awaiting in this life. I feel that whatever has given me this wants me to know that my life grows richer everyday.

I put the book in my pocket and head out.

I walk back down the hallway.

I go outside and ascend the stairs, back into this moment.

Clarity. Healing. Hope.