Own your wants

Be very honest and clear about what you want. 

This builds trust. 

If other people don't know what you want, they will make assumptions about what you want. There can be no miscommunication if you are clear about what you want. And often, as a result, people will open up to you about their wants.

The same is true for the parts within you. They have wants. Often conflicting.

So make sure to tell those parts what you honestly want for them. 

Tell them that you honestly want them to be loved. 
Tell them you want them to be healed. 
Tell them, from your very core, what you want for them.

In return, like with people, those parts will notice that you're being open and honest with them about your wants and may feel comfortable enough to tell you theirs. 

Mutual exchange of wants is leadership in action. It's healing. Wholeness.