Gratitude can save your life.
It can solve problems. It can bring new opportunities. It can heal past hurts. It can help you make decisions. It can help you with conflicts.
I know it can feel confusing. People have a lot to say about Gratitude. I do too.
But maybe I can offer you a bit more clarity.
To get started with gratitude you need:
To become familiar with how it feels
To process any resistance you have towards it
To create a practice
1) How does Gratitude feel?
The word "Gratitude" will evoke a very specific sensation within your body. It will be unique to you.
You can learn it by closing your eyes and imagining a memory where you felt "Gratitude" in the past.
Who was there?
What happened?
How did it all make you feel?
I want you to give the memory a lot of detail. And then notice what feeling comes up as a result.
It might be a warmth in your chest or throat. It could be a glowing feeling along your stomach.
Whatever it might feel like. That is your Gratitude.
I want you to explore gratitude in this way because it will feel easy. All you do is re-create the right context within your mind (through a memory) and it will flow from there.
2) Process any resistance to Gratitude
You might feel unfinished emotions mixed in with the things you feel grateful for.
For example, you're grateful for the relationship you have with your parents. But you still have some level of resentment or pain stored from your childhood.
Those feelings will make it difficult to work with gratitude. Why?
Because each time you bring up the feeling of gratitude, you will also bring up those other feelings.
But this is good news! Now you get the chance to process those feelings.
You can process them by experiencing the sensation and then expressing how it feels.
For example, you feel a tightness in your gut during gratitude practice. You then say aloud what state what the sensation feels like. Paying attention to any images and mental thoughts that arise with the sensation.
It might feel intense. If it feels too intense, please be gentle with yourself and stop.
Stay with that emotion for at least 90 seconds. Experience it as honestly as you can for at least 90 seconds.
Afterwards, go back to your gratitude practice.
3) Create a practice
I have mentioned "practice" a few times. You will find it very simple.
Let me share my practice with you:
Open my notebook every morning
Write "Gratitude" at the top of a new page
Look around my immediate space to see what inspires gratitude
Write down anything that inspires gratitude
Repeat steps 3/4 until my list feels long and healthy
The point of a practice is to do it often. You get outsized benefits by doing a little bit each day.
And of course, this is something to play around with. Make it your own. After all, it is your gratitude.
Gratitude can save your life.
It saved mine.