The practice: relax as much tension in your body as you can.

By relaxing, you automatically enter the present moment. 

As you move your attention around your body, finding areas to release tension, you build more presence. 

Which allows your body, your fascia, to resonate, like a tuning fork, with the present moment.

All you have to do is relax and resonate.

Love all the parts. Even the painful ones. Especially the painful ones. 

The tired ones. The scared ones. The worried ones. The hurt ones. The angry ones. The shameful ones. The guilty ones. The sad ones. The disappointed ones. The ones that think they aren't good enough. The ones that don't want to get into trouble anymore.

The ones who just want a break.

Love all your parts.

Doing inner work is hard.

Especially with parts of us burdened with intense, negative emotions.

I learned about a framework for working with these parts. It's called RAIN. (Shoutout @know for sharing this with me)

R: Recognize

A: Accept without an agenda

I: Compassionately investigate

N: Nurture

Whenever a part arises:

1. We recognize what type of part it is

2. We accept it

3. We become curious about it

4. And then we do whatever we need to do to nurture this part back into health

The other day I ordered a small pizza for lunch.

Afterwards, I went for a walk and felt a craving to eat the leftovers.

I stopped, recognized that this was a part, allowed it to exist, and started to investigate.

I asked it where it was coming from and it told me that wasting food wasn't good.

I asked that part where it learned that, and the part zips me over to a younger version of myself.

Shamed by my parents for not finishing my lentil soup.

I look at that young boy, crying on the dining table, and I bring myself into that image with him.

I pull up a chair, put my hand on his head, and tell him that it will be alright and that he isn't alone.

I eat with him, and we finish. I tell him that I am there for him and that he doesn't need to worry again.

I tell him that if food goes to waste in the future, I will deal with it. He doesn't need to.

A shift occurs.

That craving turns into an intention to go home and throw the pizza out. And that is exactly what happens.

I throw it out.

Feeling no desire to eat it, when a few moments ago, it was all I wanted.

"All statements are equally true" - Jim Leonard

How? Context.

When looking at the sun with green-tinted sunglasses, the statement: "The sun is green" is very true.

In that context, the sun is green. But it's also true that the sun is blue, red, pink, and all the other colours. What matters is the context, or what sunglasses you have on.

Our minds work like sunglasses, but it's not one pair. Imagine a "pocket dimension" that stores sunglasses. An infinite hallway storing all types of sunglasses.

When you put on a pair of glasses, you adopt certain assumptions about the world that come with them.

Some of these glasses are helpful, but many are not.

And they determine our lives.

But the awesome thing about being human is that we can choose which sunglasses to wear.

How?

1. Words are magic. Use words to create a statement that represents the new context you want to live in 

ex: "It's okay for me to do things without others permission."

2. Mentally repeat that statement to yourself, then listen for parts of you that object to it. Note down their fears.

ex: "No! It's not okay, it's too hard, you need other people's help"

3. For each fear, construct a new statement that addresses that part's fears 

ex: "It's completely safe for me to do things with others permission"

4. Then prove to the objecting part how this new statement is true -- feel the part, accept it, or reject it.

ex: "Remember when we closed that deal without anyone telling us to? Doesn't that support this new context?"

5. If you feel resonance with the statement, move on to the next objection

ex: "It's okay for me to do things without others permission"

6. Repeat 2-5 until the original statement becomes true for your system.

This works because all statements are true. You can find contexts for them.

You are always happy.

You are always sad.

Both are true in different contexts.

Here is how this change process works:

Your mind is a 'pocket dimension' that already holds contexts. When you introduce a new context, the entire system of contexts changes.

Conflicts in assumptions and beliefs arise. But, by addressing each one, you can install new software. 

All statements are true, you have complete control over your mind.

All that it wants and needs is proof.

All spiritual practice leads you to this basic routine:

1) Ask the body, "What now?"

2) Recieve an answer

3) Act on that answer

The mind is there to help us work with the body. It's not the source of knowing. It's the facilitator. 

It's the tour guide to the greatest wonder in the world: your body.

Your body processes reality. It stores every good, bad, nasty, joyful thing you have ever experienced. 

And it knows what to do right now.

It knows what you must do to live the life you're meant to live. The problem is that we seldom listen to it. But it's always ready to work with us once we're ready to listen.

So ask it. Listen. 

Then, do what it offers you. 

Try it as an experiment. See how your mind protests. But follow through. Always follow through.

Consider the body's directives like divine commandments given to you as blessings to guide you through this life.

Treat them as holy. Because they are. And so are you.

The next time you feel a really strong feeling, I want you to ask yourself this question:

What does this feeling want to integrate into?

It might feel odd to ask your feelings a question, but when you do, you'll receive a "signal," a subconscious thought, image, or feeling, with an answer.

So, if you ask your "anger" what it wants, notice what comes back. In most cases, it is trying to point you towards some action you need to take in your life.

It's even odder to think that your feelings have wants. But they do! They want:

1. To be noticed

2. Help integrating so that they can help you

3. To be loved

The strong, painful feeling is a "scary mask" designed to get your attention.

And once it does and is honestly, sincerely, and impartially seen by you, with as much detail as possible, it will transform into something completely new.

Your "anger" turns into "action".
Your "grief" into "gratitude".
Your "shame" into "love".

So, again, the next time you notice an intense feeling arise, don't fight it, don't be scared of it, don't run from it, pay attention to it, ask the question, and give the feeling what it wants.

Journalling advice is dangerous.

Be careful of people who tell you to write about your problems. It's usually well-intentioned, but there is a hidden result that often bites you in the ass if you follow it.

By writing about your problems, you're solidifying them, reinforcing them in your brain. And you rarely find any solutions.

What usually happens is that you start writing in circles, finding more and more details about the problem that you didn't notice before; it may feel "productive" or "helpful," but it doesn't do anything.

It just keeps your problems going. Writing about your problems gives you more of the same problems.

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. By writing about them and feeling the negative emotions associated with them, you are just telling your brain that this "problem" is important. There is not a lot of processing happening at all. No healing whatsoever. Which means there is no resolution.

Instead, write about what you want.

If you have a problem and want to resolve it, don't waste your time writing about it; instead, write about its resolution.

This will tell your brain that resolving the problem is important and will bring you closer to a resolution.

Some tips for doing this:

• Avoid negative language (stuff like "I can't do this", or "It's way too hard to do this")
• Use positive language instead ("I want to feel relief from this situation," "I can't wait to figure this out."
  
• Have compassion for yourself (everyone has problems; beating yourself up just creates tension in your body)
• Write until you feel a release (keep writing until you feel your emotions shift)

Relaxation

What if it was easy to operate life from a state of relaxed ease?

I believe tension from stress doesn't get tasks done more easily.  It's a bad deal because stress and tension:

a) Makes you miserable
b) Fatigues you quickly
c) Constrains your attention

Relaxation works better because you can access more internal resources to solve problems and move forward. It doesn't tire you out. And it's far more enjoyable.

How do you encourage relaxation?

1. Regular, cyclic, deep breathing (no pauses between inhales <> exhales <> inhales)

2. Muscle relaxation (use your awareness to relax muscles, imagine them melting)

3. Taking walking breaks that are nourishing

4. Not sitting for longer than 15 minutes

5. Writing out the resolution to problems and tasks so that the brain doesn't need to work on it

6. Doing a short yoga nidra every 3-5 hours

7. Going into Hakalau (utilizing your peripheral vision)

What if it was possible to be relaxed most of the day? The prevailing belief is that going into a stress-like state is better for getting things done than a relaxed state. It's very black and white. Relaxed means you don't get anything done. Stressed is when you do. But this doesn't seem right. Why would we be subjected to this duality? The truth is that we aren't.

Here are some beliefs powering reliance on stress:

1. Nothing will get done if I am not stressed

2. Stress is the path to success

3. Relaxation isn't effective

4. Relaxation means I can't focus

5. I can't have both

If you go through each and contemplate whether they are true, you may be surprised to see that many of them are BS.

You can relax and do things. It supercharges your performance. Don't believe me? Try it out.

What's interesting and dangerous about a "feed" is that it is a powerful avoidance mechanism that keeps people in avoidance.

For example, you notice a painful emotion in your body, so you do what you always have done: reflexively reach for your phone and begin scrolling.

When you scroll, attention is removed from your body and invested in the feed or whatever content you consume.

This offers "relief" from the emotional pain in your body, yet it doesn't do anything about it; it just postpones the emotional integration.

So, the emotion is still there. But when you start scrolling, you'll encounter different micro-triggers on the feed, which create more small reactions you want to avoid feeling, so you scroll even more.

Which leads me to the conclusion that:

Avoidance is the engine that powers excessive scrolling behaviour. And the business models of the largest social companies.

The solution?

Stop avoiding your emotions. Before scrolling, ask yourself, "What emotion am I avoiding right now?" and take a few breaths to welcome it. Often, you'll notice the desire and need to scroll go away. 

Scroll because you want to, not because you need to.

There are too many tools to choose from -- hopefully this will be the last one I need to pick. 

Attention is our greatest, most valuable asset. And it's something that we can't help but spend. All we can do is choose where to put it.

Reduce the things tugging on your attention, save it for the important things, like family, love, friends, and life.