Modern productivity often feels empty and pointless.
An example of this is school. There are processes in my body-mind system. Parts of me that worry— "if I don't worry about schoolwork and assignments, they're not going to get done".
If that doesn’t happen, I'll get a bad grade. A bad grade means wasted money. It means my parents might yell at me, or worse, feel disappointed.
Shame. Avoiding shame drives so much of the emptiness. Part of me can't stand the shame.
But creating a sense of spiritual significance could help. That's the hypothesis at least.
Because it lets you see the shame and contextualize it— letting it move and process by itself.
It helps you understand why "mind" resists. Because a mind without context, is a mind that cannot make sense of why it exists.
It needs significance.
The knowledge in our brains works in this way. Knowledge needs connections. If there's a neuron that isn't connected to others, it gets pruned away.
To create significance, you need to increase its relationality. Take something that feels isolated, like schoolwork, and connect it to something greater:
It becomes more than a task; it becomes a part of the tapestry of life.
The key is to keep exploring how to make these connections stronger. Adding more and more layers of significance.
To keep finding ways to make life spiritually significant.
principle 1: user experiences are probabilistic, not deterministic
you can’t control how someone experiences your product. experiences are personal and subjective. all you can do is increase the likelihood that they’ll have a positive one. AI’s role is to optimize the odds—it doesn’t guarantee anything, but it can shape the environment to make a positive outcome more likely. it’s about shaping probabilities, not dictating experiences.
principle 2: AI is the gardener, not the architect
AI isn’t building rigid systems or telling users what to do. it’s creating a flexible, adaptive environment. think of it like a gardener, not an architect. the AI helps set the right conditions for users to succeed, but it doesn’t control how that success happens. over time, it adapts as users interact with it, growing and evolving alongside them.
principle 3: create a dynamic, learning environment
a great product is a living system. the product experience should constantly learn from its users, adjusting and improving based on how people interact with it. right now, we rely on human feedback to do this, but the future is a product that can learn directly from its users. it evolves, refines, and adapts in real-time, cutting out the middleman and making the feedback loop faster and more direct.
principle 4: co-regulate with the user’s nervous system
one of the most powerful things a product can do is sync with the user’s nervous system. your product should be able to regulate stress and calmness in the user. by paying attention to how users behave (like when they’re frustrated or taking too long on a task), the AI can adjust the experience to keep them either engaged or calm, depending on what’s needed. this creates a more personalized, responsive experience.
principle 5: start broad, refine subtle
when building a product, you start with big adjustments. you need to see what works and what doesn’t. but over time, as the AI learns more about the user, it should begin making smaller, more subtle refinements. these marginal gains are where the real magic happens, turning a decent product into a great one. it’s the little things that often make the biggest difference.
principle 6: reveal hidden constraints
users don’t always know what’s holding them back. sometimes they’re limited by things they can’t see—whether it’s mental, emotional, or something else. the AI’s job is to identify those hidden constraints and surface them in a way that helps the user move forward. by watching for patterns in behavior, AI can help users overcome obstacles they might not even realize they have.
principle 7: the product is always evolving
there’s no such thing as a finished product. users change, expectations shift, and the world moves forward. your product has to keep evolving. AI should be built to continuously learn and adapt, so the product stays relevant and valuable even as the world around it changes. it’s a constant cycle of evaluation and improvement.
principle 8: fail gracefully, iterate rapidly
not everything will work right away, and that’s fine. the key is to iterate quickly and learn from failures. even when things go wrong, your product should still provide value and recover gracefully. AI helps by speeding up the iteration process, making adjustments smarter each time. it’s about learning fast, failing fast, and improving faster.
]]>The practice: relax as much tension in your body as you can.
By relaxing, you automatically enter the present moment.
As you move your attention around your body, finding areas to release tension, you build more presence.
Which allows your body, your fascia, to resonate, like a tuning fork, with the present moment.
All you have to do is relax and resonate.
Love all the parts. Even the painful ones. Especially the painful ones.
The tired ones. The scared ones. The worried ones. The hurt ones. The angry ones. The shameful ones. The guilty ones. The sad ones. The disappointed ones. The ones that think they aren't good enough. The ones that don't want to get into trouble anymore.
The ones who just want a break.
Love all your parts.
Doing inner work is hard.
Especially with parts of us burdened with intense, negative emotions.
I learned about a framework for working with these parts. It's called RAIN. (Shoutout @know for sharing this with me)
R: Recognize
A: Accept without an agenda
I: Compassionately investigate
N: Nurture
Whenever a part arises:
We recognize what type of part it is
We accept it
We become curious about it
And then we do whatever we need to do to nurture this part back into health
The other day I ordered a small pizza for lunch.
Afterwards, I went for a walk and felt a craving to eat the leftovers.
I stopped, recognized that this was a part, allowed it to exist, and started to investigate.
I asked it where it was coming from and it told me that wasting food wasn't good.
I asked that part where it learned that, and the part zips me over to a younger version of myself.
Shamed by my parents for not finishing my lentil soup.
I look at that young boy, crying on the dining table, and I bring myself into that image with him.
I pull up a chair, put my hand on his head, and tell him that it will be alright and that he isn't alone.
I eat with him, and we finish. I tell him that I am there for him and that he doesn't need to worry again.
I tell him that if food goes to waste in the future, I will deal with it. He doesn't need to.
A shift occurs.
That craving turns into an intention to go home and throw the pizza out. And that is exactly what happens.
I throw it out.
Feeling no desire to eat it, when a few moments ago, it was all I wanted.
"All statements are equally true" - Jim Leonard
How? Context.
When looking at the sun with green-tinted sunglasses, the statement: "The sun is green" is very true.
In that context, the sun is green. But it's also true that the sun is blue, red, pink, and all the other colours. What matters is the context, or what sunglasses you have on.
Our minds work like sunglasses, but it's not one pair. Imagine a "pocket dimension" that stores sunglasses. An infinite hallway storing all types of sunglasses.
When you put on a pair of glasses, you adopt certain assumptions about the world that come with them.
Some of these glasses are helpful, but many are not.
And they determine our lives.
But the awesome thing about being human is that we can choose which sunglasses to wear.
How?
1. Words are magic. Use words to create a statement that represents the new context you want to live in
ex: "It's okay for me to do things without others permission."
2. Mentally repeat that statement to yourself, then listen for parts of you that object to it. Note down their fears.
ex: "No! It's not okay, it's too hard, you need other people's help"
3. For each fear, construct a new statement that addresses that part's fears
ex: "It's completely safe for me to do things with others permission"
4. Then prove to the objecting part how this new statement is true -- feel the part, accept it, or reject it.
ex: "Remember when we closed that deal without anyone telling us to? Doesn't that support this new context?"
5. If you feel resonance with the statement, move on to the next objection
ex: "It's okay for me to do things without others permission"
6. Repeat 2-5 until the original statement becomes true for your system.
This works because all statements are true. You can find contexts for them.
You are always happy.
You are always sad.
Both are true in different contexts.
Here is how this change process works:
Your mind is a 'pocket dimension' that already holds contexts. When you introduce a new context, the entire system of contexts changes.
Conflicts in assumptions and beliefs arise. But, by addressing each one, you can install new software.
All statements are true, you have complete control over your mind.
All that it wants and needs is proof.
]]>All spiritual practice leads you to this basic routine:
1) Ask the body, "What now?"
2) Recieve an answer
3) Act on that answer
The mind is there to help us work with the body. It's not the source of knowing. It's the facilitator.
It's the tour guide to the greatest wonder in the world: your body.
Your body processes reality. It stores every good, bad, nasty, joyful thing you have ever experienced.
And it knows what to do right now.
It knows what you must do to live the life you're meant to live. The problem is that we seldom listen to it. But it's always ready to work with us once we're ready to listen.
So ask it. Listen.
Then, do what it offers you.
Try it as an experiment. See how your mind protests. But follow through. Always follow through.
Consider the body's directives like divine commandments given to you as blessings to guide you through this life.
Treat them as holy. Because they are. And so are you.
]]>The next time you feel a really strong feeling, I want you to ask yourself this question:
What does this feeling want to integrate into?
It might feel odd to ask your feelings a question, but when you do, you'll receive a "signal," a subconscious thought, image, or feeling, with an answer.
So, if you ask your "anger" what it wants, notice what comes back. In most cases, it is trying to point you towards some action you need to take in your life.
It's even odder to think that your feelings have wants. But they do! They want:
1. To be noticed
2. Help integrating so that they can help you
3. To be loved
The strong, painful feeling is a "scary mask" designed to get your attention.
And once it does and is honestly, sincerely, and impartially seen by you, with as much detail as possible, it will transform into something completely new.
Your "anger" turns into "action".
Your "grief" into "gratitude".
Your "shame" into "love".
So, again, the next time you notice an intense feeling arise, don't fight it, don't be scared of it, don't run from it, pay attention to it, ask the question, and give the feeling what it wants.
]]>Journalling advice is dangerous.
Be careful of people who tell you to write about your problems. It's usually well-intentioned, but there is a hidden result that often bites you in the ass if you follow it.
By writing about your problems, you're solidifying them, reinforcing them in your brain. And you rarely find any solutions.
What usually happens is that you start writing in circles, finding more and more details about the problem that you didn't notice before; it may feel "productive" or "helpful," but it doesn't do anything.
It just keeps your problems going. Writing about your problems gives you more of the same problems.
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. By writing about them and feeling the negative emotions associated with them, you are just telling your brain that this "problem" is important. There is not a lot of processing happening at all. No healing whatsoever. Which means there is no resolution.
Instead, write about what you want.
If you have a problem and want to resolve it, don't waste your time writing about it; instead, write about its resolution.
This will tell your brain that resolving the problem is important and will bring you closer to a resolution.
Some tips for doing this:
What if it was easy to operate life from a state of relaxed ease?
I believe tension from stress doesn't get tasks done more easily. It's a bad deal because stress and tension:
a) Makes you miserable
b) Fatigues you quickly
c) Constrains your attention
Relaxation works better because you can access more internal resources to solve problems and move forward. It doesn't tire you out. And it's far more enjoyable.
How do you encourage relaxation?
1. Regular, cyclic, deep breathing (no pauses between inhales <> exhales <> inhales)
2. Muscle relaxation (use your awareness to relax muscles, imagine them melting)
3. Taking walking breaks that are nourishing
4. Not sitting for longer than 15 minutes
5. Writing out the resolution to problems and tasks so that the brain doesn't need to work on it
6. Doing a short yoga nidra every 3-5 hours
7. Going into Hakalau (utilizing your peripheral vision)
What if it was possible to be relaxed most of the day? The prevailing belief is that going into a stress-like state is better for getting things done than a relaxed state. It's very black and white. Relaxed means you don't get anything done. Stressed is when you do. But this doesn't seem right. Why would we be subjected to this duality? The truth is that we aren't.
Here are some beliefs powering reliance on stress:
1. Nothing will get done if I am not stressed
2. Stress is the path to success
3. Relaxation isn't effective
4. Relaxation means I can't focus
5. I can't have both
If you go through each and contemplate whether they are true, you may be surprised to see that many of them are BS.
You can relax and do things. It supercharges your performance. Don't believe me? Try it out.
What's interesting and dangerous about a "feed" is that it is a powerful avoidance mechanism that keeps people in avoidance.
For example, you notice a painful emotion in your body, so you do what you always have done: reflexively reach for your phone and begin scrolling.
When you scroll, attention is removed from your body and invested in the feed or whatever content you consume.
This offers "relief" from the emotional pain in your body, yet it doesn't do anything about it; it just postpones the emotional integration.
So, the emotion is still there. But when you start scrolling, you'll encounter different micro-triggers on the feed, which create more small reactions you want to avoid feeling, so you scroll even more.
Which leads me to the conclusion that:
Avoidance is the engine that powers excessive scrolling behaviour. And the business models of the largest social companies.
The solution?
Stop avoiding your emotions. Before scrolling, ask yourself, "What emotion am I avoiding right now?" and take a few breaths to welcome it. Often, you'll notice the desire and need to scroll go away.
Scroll because you want to, not because you need to.
There are too many tools to choose from -- hopefully this will be the last one I need to pick.
Attention is our greatest, most valuable asset. And it's something that we can't help but spend. All we can do is choose where to put it.
Reduce the things tugging on your attention, save it for the important things, like family, love, friends, and life.
]]>